Webmaster guidelines are for the weak and timid.
A real SEO warrior doesn’t hide content, it challenges googlebot with a knife in hand-to-hand combat and slaughters it.
No link profile is unnatural for a true SEO warrior.
By disavowing my links you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!
You Google question the quality of my Content?! I should kill you where you stand!
Submit? Alas, it’s directories and search engines who have to submit to the SEO warrior!
You don’t buy links, you conquer them with your blade.
Validating my code is an insult to the honor of my family. Prepare to die!
PPC is for the Ferengies, a true SEO warrior ranks fighting.
PPC people have no honor.
Usability? Klingons do not make sites user friendly. Usability issues are good for building character in the user.
Klingon URLs do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
I have challenged the entire Google Search Quality team to a bat'Leth contest on the holodeck. They will not concern us again.
Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say we spam it!
Our users will know fear and cower before our website! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!
A Google manual penalty is an experience best shared.
Spam, and you shall have dinner. Follow the guidelines, and you shall be dinner.
Great Klingon sites do not seek authority; it is thrust upon them.
Klingons do not allow themselves to be... verified.
A Klingon only cloaks in order to attack.
Don't ask for links, conquer them!
Google employees are the rungs on the ladder to success, don't hesitate to step on them.
Never start a SEO campaign without your bat'leth.
There's nothing wrong with SEO for charity... as long as it winds up as links in your pocket.
If a guideline is in your way, knock it down.
Reconsideration requests are best solved with a bat'leth.
You have not experienced a manual penalty notification until you have read it in the original Klingon.
Klingon search engines don’t just crawl the internet – they hunt!
A Klingon SEO does not take clients' orders. He challenges them to die!
Klingons SEOs do not deliver; we EXECUTE. For the glory of the empire!
They are not our customers. They are our enemies!
Out Project Manager acted like a spineless P'taaq in that meeting! I have deleted his login and I assume command myself!
Images of Klingon warriors shown in this article are licensed by Midjourney under the Creative Commons Noncommercial 4.0 Attribution International License.